Stuff I Do

Clearly the game designers missed an opportunity here

(This was originally posted on my now-defunct Dreamwidth blog)

A friend and I have been playing socially distant Yakuza 0. He plays all the combat, and we jointly determine story choices. It is, essentially, a live stream just for me.

What you need to know about Yakuza 0 is that it takes place in the 80s. This is important to my story.

Last night, we discovered a side quest called “Damned Yanki,” in which you have to teach the very sweet lead singer of a “yanki” band how to be a hooligan. Krazy Kyo looks like this (click for full size):

Image description: a young Japanese man wearing a white shirt and ascot, a black moto jacket, sunglasses, and a pompadour twice as big as his head.

Being from Minnesota*, we immediately thought of Prince.

Krazy Kyo is hilariously bad at being a yanki, and thinks that if he speaks to fans, his band will immediately lose their popularity once they realize the band members are entirely wholesome. One of his bandmates spends his days walking his dog and sitting in “chic cafés.” They ask you what to say at the Q&A after the concert they’re about to start. There are two right answers, and one that is definitely not right.

But listen. The localization team translated the first option for Krazy Kyo as:

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…

I ask you: would you not have chosen this option as exactly and completely the appropriate choice? Could there be a more appropriate choice?

Unfortunately, the game decided that was not the correct choice, as it was too formal. Tell that to Prince.

*We are neither of us from Minnesota, but after being here for over 20 years, you learn your Prince lore.